Who knows me? Who understands me? If everything I did, everything I am known for, and all of my dreams of the future suddenly disappeared one day – who would stick around?
I think one of the most challenging aspects of moving or transitioning is that your community shifts and changes. You suddenly find yourself in a new place with new people you need to somehow convey yourself to. People joke all the time about how hard it is as adults to make new friends; you can’t just walk up to someone new on the playground and start a game of tag anymore (I mean technically you could… anyone game to try it out and report back?) But beyond the lack of accessibility of new friends, (everyone is hiding out in their office buildings or Netflixing alone in their homes!) there’s also the fact that as we grow older our needs change. No longer is the pinnacle of friendship defined by finding someone who also loves Barbie’s or Pokémon, suddenly we find that our expectations of relationship have expanded.
What I mean by that is simple: I desire friendships with people who track with me, are on my level… or in other words, people who know me.
Continue reading “Episode 15: Truly known and deeply loved”
“Shame is a soul eating emotion.”
― C.G. Jung
I could not help but notice that people really freaked out (in a good way) when I wrote about shame in my previous post (Epi 4) last summer. That post had infinitely more responses and reaction than any other topic I’ve written about. Honestly, I don’t think it was because it was my most phenomenal writing, I think it was because shame rarely gets called out. Now, I realize I’m not Brené Brown. (But I most definitely will quote her). I’m not any sort of research expert in the slightest. But I think its safe to say that shame is something we all want to talk about. So I’m gonna keep talking.
Continue reading “Episode 13: What are you so ashamed of?”
In honor of the upcoming holiday season known for its relational stresses and strains, I figured I would write about an issue I have dealt with time and time again. (Unavoidable side note: I don’t think that the holidays naturally create relational drama. I think they create the perfect little petri dish environment of stress and exhaustion where drama thrives). The crazy thing is that this issue has been a repeat offender for me, yet I could never see it until after some sort of breakdown or distance from the relationship. There is something so deceptively subtle about this that some of you may not even recognize it in your own life (yet).
The basic synopsis of this issue is simple: learning not to take on someone else’s stuff. By stuff I am referring to the anxiety, depression, neediness, control, or any other plights that any given person in your life may be experiencing on any given day.
Continue reading “Episode 8: Trash Talk”
How many of you can guess something exciting that happened for me this week!!? (Hint: it’s very related to this blog.) Of course I’m referring to the premier of Stranger Things 2. The release of the second season got me thinking about the reasons why this blog started in the first place. Naturally, I needed a post to go along with it. The problem then became finding some way to deeply connect mythical demogorgons to vulnerability or shame. It was a real brain teaser. Honestly it was eating away at me. (In the back of my mind though… mostly I was wrapped up in the show.) That is, until episode 5 hit! And with it, one of my favorite scenes from the whole season unfolded.
Continue reading “Episode 7: Behind the Curtain”